Stress can be defined as a condition that is characterised by symptoms of emotional or physical tension. It can be seen as a reaction to a situation where a person feels threatened or anxious. Stress can be positive, e.g. preparing for a wedding, or negative, e.g. when dealing with a trauma or a natural disaster. Stress is therefore a natural reaction of the body to any demand that is placed upon it. Life is thus a process of adapting to the negative or positive situations going on around us, and the amount of happiness or stress that we feel will depend on how successfully we manage to adapt to the situation.
Dr Judy Kaye of the stress clinic in Johannesburg feels that most stresses are due to personal issues, like relationship traumas. According to her, a person’s ability to handle stress can change and depends on their self-esteem, in other words how you see yourself and how you perceive the way others see you. She also believes that anyone can learn to change, and states that “pain may be unavoidable, but suffering is optional” Many people try to control the events that result in stresses in our lives. Stress is very individual and stress is different things to different people. Often we feel like we are powerless against stressors, but we actually do have control over certain stressors. We can empower ourselves to cope effectively with stress, and to change our negative thoughts.
Everyone experiences stress at times, adults, teenagers and even children. People can be helped to develop the skills that they need to cope with or adapt to certain stressful or threatening situations. If one uses healthy ways to cope and gets the correct support and care, the problems can be put into perspective, and the stressful feelings and symptoms can diminish.
There are 2 major stresses in our lives-
- Big stresses: e.g. serious situations that we are living with such as financial problems, emigration, death of a loved one, a difficult child in the family, illness (your own or a loved one), a bad marriage or other difficult relationships.
- The everyday stresses: the stress of day to day living, e.g. the traffic, daily housekeeping chores, shopping, frustration of bringing up children, work and business frustrations.
Some people believe we have stress in our lives for a reason, that it helps us to grow as a person and that we learn from the challenges that we go through.We can therefore see our stress or challenges in a positive or negative light. If one has a positive attitude, one can deal with stress with acceptance, tolerance and forgiveness, and not resist the challenge.
If one has a negative attitude, such people tend to say “why has this happened to me, poor me, I cannot cope, life is so unfair” (take on the victim role). If we keep these thoughts and emotions for many years along eith a negative attitude, it can effect us physically. We therefore need to watch our thoughts and the thoughts we use, because our thoughts, words and emotions effect our behaviour. If we try and speak positively, then we can actually reduce the everyday stress in our lives. It’s a choice that we make in our lives. The more we resist our challenges, the more stress we face in our lives. Life can be seen as a series of choices. We chose how to speak, think, and act; and we also chose the attitude we have towards things around us.
Some common reactions to stress can include:
- disbelief, shock and numbness
- feeling sad
- frustrated
- sense of helplessness
- fear
- anxiety about the future
- feeling guilty
- anger
- tension
- irritability
- difficulty concentrating and making decisions
- crying
- reduced interest in activities
- wanting to be alone
- loss of appetite
- sleeping too much or too little
- nightmares
- headaches
- back pain
- stomach problems
- increased heart rate
- difficulty breathing
- smoking and using alcohol
Ways to manage stress and anxiety:
There are certain healthy ways to deal with stress. Finding a balance is often the crucial factor in being able to lead a stress free life. First of all we need to understand how the body reacts to stress. When we feel stressed our bodies are effected physically and we start to feel tired and don’t function optimally. We need to improve our nutrition and change our lifestyles, as negative emotions deplete our immune system and this can results in illness or disease. For some people a big source of stress is the inability to say no without guilt. If we cannot refuse the requests of others, we end up living life according to other people’s needs and priorities rather than our own – this results in low self-esteem. Therefore, stressful situations do not always have to involve frustration, anger, depression and other negative emotions, as long as we are able to control our thoughts and see the good in situations. We can focus on the good things in life and approach our challenges with energy and enthusiasm.
Some self-help tips for stress:
- avoid self-medication – they do not remove the conditions that caused the stress in the first place
- create a quiet scene – read a book or listen to music
- it’s okay to cry – this can bring relief to your anxiety, also take deep breaths as they relieve the tension
- must you always be right? – be flexible and try co-operation instead of confrontation
- check off your tasks – make a list and prioritise, too much can be overwhelming
- be a participant – get involved, e.g. do voluntary work instead of sitting and feeling sorry for yourself
- make time for fun – schedule time for work but also relaxation, you need to have a break from you regular routine
- take care of yourself – get enough rest, eat well, avoid drugs and alcohol, and speak to a doctor if you cant sleep well
- knowing your limits – if a problem is beyond your control, and cannot be changed at that moment, don’t fight the situation
- share your stress – it helps to talk to someone about your concerns and worried
- try physical activities – remember your body and mind work together
- plan in advance and manage your time
- practice positive thinking while acknowledge your stress or anxiety
Therefore if one engages in the right care and you are able to put the problems you are experiencing into perspective, stressful feelings can subside.
References:
“Self –help Tips for Stress”, pamphlet from SADAG (South African Depression and Anxiety Group)
http://www.cdc.gov/violence protection/pub/coping _with_stress_tips.html
http://www. psychcentral/lib/how_does_stress_affect_us/0001130
http://www.psychcentral.com/stress/
“Stress management seminar”, workshop presented by Linda Levy, (March 2014)
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